Why does it seem so hard this time. I have been through this six other times and this is definitely our shortest time. He will leave in April and be back around Aug 1. I guess maybe because I had convinced myself that maybe just maybe he would not have to go. I guess because what most of you do not know is my son is going through allot right now and well I just do not know how I can handle it alone. I mean I know I can. But how, how will I find sitters, do I even need sitters. How will I keep up with the lawn, will we have time to get the lawnmower fixed, how will his mom handle it, how will my mom handle it. Okay I am feeling a peace even as I type this. I know that I serve a amazing God and he is with me, he has been with us through the last six times so why do I not think he will not handle it this time. So for today I will enjoy that he is here that we have friends visiting, that I have been given 2 years without a deployment. That we are settled in our home and we are all healthy.

Rob went back to work on Wednesday. He picked up his TA 50 today and he has a meeting this afternoon with the Major to discuss the plans for him. The last we heard was his unit is in the sand and he would be joinging them on April 1. I would be lying if I told you my stomach is not in knots. I would be lying if I told you I have not dreaded and looked forward to this day for months. I would be lying if I told you I think I can hold it all together if Rob comes home and tells me he is deploying AGAIN. I would be lying if I told you that the thought of being in a new part of the country without my husband scares me. I would be lying if I told you that I sleep sound at night and do not worry about how I will handle Rob leaving again and finding childcare and keeping up with everything. I would be lying if I told you I was not worried about how another deployment will affect my children. I would be lying if I said I was not worried about how my husband would mentally handle another deployment. I would be lying if I did not say I want to hibernate right now and not answer the phone when he calls. I would be lying if I said I am not really excited that we have friends spending the weekend so that if we find out bad news we will have a distraction. I would be lying if I said we are not going to tell the kids we are letting them keep the kitten the minute we find out he is deploying.
Please pray that no matter the answer he gets this afternoon we will handle it with a positive attitude.