This blog is a collections of letters my children and I are writting to my husband about his most recent deployment. Please note that dates are being changed to follow OPSEC rules and keep my hero safe. Please feel free to write a note to him in the comments. When he has internet he will check in, when he does not I will print them out and send them to him.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Dear Rob, what a day. First let me say I am watching smallville because I am scared that if I turn the channel it will not record. We have had a great day. The highlight was you calling and saying I love you instead of something like “I cannot hold it anymore”. I love you and miss you and feel a little sneaky that I did not let the kids talk to you today but it was nice having a real conversation.
So back to our day. Let’s see we woke up after a night of rough sleep. The kids stayed int here bed but I swear I heard a million noises. I am so glad you made us install the alarm system. So we started chores and then I decided to start the lawn. You forgot to tell me something was wrong with the riding lawnmower and it only works in SUPER FAST MODE. I got maybe a quarter of the lawn mowed and then it made a real noise and stopped working. It sounds like it is turning on but never does. Do not worry this evening I pushed it all the way across the yard and with Michael’s help got it into the shed although I was tempted to just leave the stinken thing. I pulled out the NEW push mower and did another quarter of the yard before it died. The whole time the girls are not cleaning up there messes. I am finding things like your shirts and our good bowls and match box cars. I wanted to scream and shout. But you would be proud I did not. I prayed. Why do I always make that the last option. By this time Michael was done with school. I know I was shocked too.
So I had him pull the lawnmower into the front yard. It had gas in it but I thought it needed more. So first we realized the van was left unlocked all night with the keys in it (thank you faith). Then that we had a empty gas container. So we ran to the gas station. Then came home. I had a talk with the girls and all the sudden they were motivated. We got all the stuff around the bushes cleaned up. I mowed the hill and then Michael mowed the rest of the yard.
We came in and took showers and then headed out. Did I tell you that I cannot remember my pin for the ATM card and tried a million different ones on Sunday. We went to the vet and bought flea meds and then scheduled ACU’s surgeries and guess what they made it for 8 weeks from now. Then we went to butcher. Did not get great deals but got good meat. Then we went to walmart. Michael got his game and I picked up a very few pieces of groceries and we came home.
We have done nothing all evening. Well I did spend about 20 minutes laying beside our bed looking at the kittens and trying to convince ACU to bring them closer.
We watched little rascals tonight. The kids laughed and laughed. And guess what? Domino’s delivered to our house. I wanted to hug the man. Except he was kinda creepy and would only speak like daffy duck.
The kids are thrilled that I am letting them stay up a little tonight.
Ooh I forgot to tell you when I was at wal mart they denied my bank card four times. I was almost in tears. I knew we had money. I had just used it and there was a line of people staring at me. So I used Michaels card. I came home and called USAA, apparently when I tried to use it as a ATM with the wrong pin they locked it. The man was really nice and un locked it.
Oooh one more thing, Faith made oatmeal this morning and put salt on it and then later Grace was pouring salt on a spoon and eating it. This is exactly why I do not like salt shakers, haha.
Okay, I am going to get your babies in bed and get there myself. I am going to try to go to a church yard sale and then take the girls strawberry picking in the morning.
I love you babe.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Oh Rob you did not call today and it is killing me. Why today more than normal because our last words yesterday was can't hold it anymore gotta go. I know it is comical that the bathroom is so far away but you really should have said I love you and good night. We have had a good day. Michael was done with school by noon. He is doing so well. It is 8:30 and all but Faith are asleep. I am putting them to bed early and it is working.
Oh honey, these kittens are so stink en cute. I want my hands on them but know better. I so need you here. I had to squirt the cat today. She attacks curly if he is in the house. So what I have been doing is only letting him in when she is outside and reverse. Every time I see her walking around the house I take a peak
and a picture of the kittens. If she is under there she just talks to me for a second and then she starts covering them up with her paws and head. She has not tried to move them yet. They are so stink en cute. I think the kids have named them behind my back. I keep telling them they can not name them because we are NOT keeping even one.
This morning when we woke up it was freezing in the house. The kids begged me to start a fire and I am sure if you were here you would have. I decided to make bread and guess what it came out beautiful. I made my same double recipe but used 3 loaf pans instead of 4 and it was perfect. I will take pictures tomorrow. It was not crumbly or too hard. I also made you cookies but well they did not come out so well. I really wanted to get a package to you tomorrow but I do not think it will happen now unless you want yucky cookies.
I love you baby and miss you more than I thought I would. I am really trying hard to make sure we get to bed early. That means I am not staying up all hours of the night on the computer. The house is holding up, well except for the door knob I have not dealt with. I am going to need to mow this weekend.
I have to make you laugh and hopefully not cry. Hope was writing you a letter today and lost it several times. When I asked what was wrong she said, I miss my baby brother who died. I said NOPE you were not even alive then, she said I miss Bridgette, I said NOPE not going there and then she lost it. She said I miss daddy and Faith thought I was writing a friend but I was writing daddy and he is daddy not a friend. I love you babe and hope why I am writing this you are sleeping well.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Dear daddy, I love you. And ACU has kittens out of her belly and it was like blood to the kitten
Dear daddy I miss you and I love you and it was very sad when you went gone, please come back, pretty please. I didn’t ever see will again. It is time for me to write a letter to him.
Love Gracie

Dear daddy, I love you and guess what ACU’s kittens are out, I am going to say that one more time her kittens are out. Isn’t that amazing. I love you so much that I think you are handsome and grace is laughing at me. I love you more than anything else. I peeked under moms bed. So dad what are you doing today I really really super want to go camping with you in the back yard. Please send me a message. I do not care if mommy has to sleep on air mattresses I love you because I like you. I like Santa clause
I love you and love hope
Good evening love. We had a amazing day. I had a attitude a little today but was able to keep my cool. We got school done and Michael had a appointment. We stopped by gamestop on the way home from our appointment and would you believe Michael did not buy anything. They wanted more than he had and he was willing to wait. I could not believe it. I did not even push him.
I am so glad we got to talk on line for a couple of minutes although it cracks me up that your last words were “I cannot hold it anymore bye”. I really hope you made it to the bathroom. HAHAHAHA! The kids did well today, Grace only cried at bedtime. We read a story today about when dads are deployed and all they miss. It took a lot not to cry the whole time. I love you baby and miss you terribly.
I wish you were here to see these kittens, I wish you were here to hold my hand last night when mama cat was having babies. I wish you were here to read with Faith. I wish you were here to see the wonderful behavior Michael has had the last few days. But I know you are where you need to be doing what you need to be doing. I love you and we are already counting down the days until you are home with me.
Oooh the vet said I could not have the vet fixed for 4 MONTHS, I said wait you said 8 weeks not 4 MONTHS. So I guess she may or may not be de clawed and fixed before you get home. I Love you and am going to get in bed because the kids have been asleep since 8pm which means a early morning.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Okay dear this is totally going to sound like I am complaining but I promise I am laughing about it. It is almost 8pm and all kids are in bed and Michael is asleep. I am having dinner. Can you guess what it is. YOUR RIGHT, popcorn and mountain dew. The kids had left over pork chops and tater tots. Okay back to our day. I slept great, the cat woke up a couple of times and demanded a rub down. Ooh my I wish you were here this morning because the cat tried to jump out of Faiths bedroom window. We got chores done and most of school done before lunch and headed out to see a friend. The cat is just about crazy right now, she will not let me out of her site. She is talking nonstop and as you can tell by the picture she no longer lays on her stomach.
Thank you so much for calling me today, I am so sorry you had to call twice. I thought I was doing good about keeping the phone with me. I have not gone to the bathroom since without my phone. Today I tried to teach Grace that she should tell people you are at work and not in Iraq she was not convinced and was upset that I would want her to lie. I called your mom and dad and told them I talked to you, your mom sounded good. She said your dads sugar has been down for several days. She sounded good rob, she really did.
Okay I told you yesterday that I took the bathroom handle off yesterday well today Faith managed to get herself locked in our bathroom. Then Michael went in our room and locked the door so he could go into our bathroom and shower only he shut the bathroom door and was locked in. he did not totally lose it. I was proud of him. When we were out we stopped at the commissary and picked up a few things and then stopped at Wal-Mart and picked up pictures. I had the picture of you and your parents printed out and am going to send it to your mom for mother’s day.
Well baby I am going to go, the house is quiet and it is exactly 8:10 so I think I am going to try to go to bed early. I really think I am going to wake up to kittens tonight. We have a 9am appointment in the morning and then home for the day.
I love you so much and cannot wait for you to be able to call again. I will leave yahoo on in case you come on line. I cannot believe I am going to bed and it is 3am there. At least it is dark at the same time. By the way I did better today than yesterday. I did not lose it, I did not look at one sad youtube video or listen to one soldier song. Over all it was a good day.

Monday, April 26, 2010

It is almost 8 and the kids are in bed. I convinced them to go to bed at 7:30 and said they could read for 30 minutes. We had a amazing day. You will not believe it but Michael was done with school before 3pm and Faith was done before that even with her reading. Today has been a crazy day. Someone locked our bathroom door and I could not get it unlocked so I took the whole knob off. Hopefully that will be fixed before you get home. I made the kids go for a walk with me this morning. Right around the corner was this cute lab and he literally walked with us the entire way and then hung out in the yard for a while. We do not have kittens YET but I think we will soon. Today she wanted me to hold her all day but she did not just lay there she kept flopping over on her back and nudging me in the face constantly. And then guess what she did SHE BIT MY CHIN. Not painful but it scared me. Then she was making all these noises. I thought for sure she would have had the babies by now.
I have done pretty good today, I did lose it in the garage for a few minutes when I heard the planes fly over. They were so low. It just reminded me that I have no idea where you are right now or what you are doing. I always wonder what you are doing. Did you eat today, are you getting along with everyone. I know it sounds silly but you are in a new place with people you do not like. Did you sleep well last night. I cannot even remember what time it is there.
You will be proud of me I woke up with a headache and guess what? I TOOK ALLERGY MEDS. I am trying hard to stay healthy. I called the phone company and learned how to forward the phone so when you call I will not miss you.
Tonight we had spaghetti for dinner and I made 3 coffee cakes for later. Last night I cut out more camera strap covers and will probably finish them up tomorrow. We are going to try to go grocery shopping tomorrow. I cannot believe how low we have gotten.
I love you baby and hope that you can call soon but completely understand it is not your issue. This last picture was of Grace in bed tonight. She did not get a nap today so it took her a second to fall asleep.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

We made it through our first day without you. We are all tired but did okay. I put everyone to bed before eight and within a few minutes everyone was asleep but Grace and she is still asleep. She wants to know if we are picking you up in the morning. I keep forgetting she does not understand deployments and you not coming home. I hate that she has to learn it. She asked to sleep on your side of the bed and I said NO. You would have been proud of me. I remembered to keep the alarm on and the lights turned off. The dog still stinks and I can not wait to take him to the groomers. It will be weird watching Army wives without you telling me all the things they did wrong this week. The kids had pb&j for dinner tonight. Michael said yep it is deployment time when we have pb&j for dinner. I did not laugh at him. I love you and miss you and hope you are settled in and have gotten some rest. I hope you get to call soon but I promise I will be patient. This morning they asked me to help with offering at church. I said yes because I did not have the guts to say no. The kids did a good job with clean up after church. I think it is going to be a good thing for us to do as a family. Faith loved leading the music in childrens church. She could not wait to get to church and tell everyone about it. I love you babe, good night.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

It is happening, it is really happening. I think with all the postponements I had kind of convinced myself it would not happen. But as I set here you are running around the house packing up last minute things. You are fixing last minute thing. I tell myself I am okay with this, that this is only going to be 3 months and I have done this a million times but the reality is I still hate it. I want you hear. I want to know someone is here to make sure I turn on the alarm and take my allergy medicine and someone to cook for. Someone to drive me to church on Sunday mornings. Someone to help with those math problems I cannot help Michael figure out. I love you dear. I love you in a way I can never express to you. I respect you, I respect that you get up every morning at 4:30 a.m. and go to work to support your family and your country. I do not know I guess I am rambling but since I cannot do what I want to be doing which is snuggling on the couch with you. I love you and I hope that you get to call us soon. I hope that your flights were good and you got some rest. I love you babe.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Letters to my Hero

A few more days. They called last night and said it your flight would not leave this morning because of airplanes were still not flying. I do not mind at all, we love having a few more days with you. I am really hoping you get to stay home until at least Wednesda because we have 2 appointments on Tuesday and I really do not want to drag the girls around.
I love you,

Saturday, April 17, 2010

The day is getting close

You were supose to leave 2 days ago and because of a volcano we get to spend a couple of extra days with you. I do not think it has totally hit me yet. When the lady at the ice cream shop asked if you would deploy soon and I responded within hours I think it began to hit me. I want to hold you close yet I know I am in the stage where I hit I am scared to be close. I want to take a million pictures of you to remind me of you when you are not here.
I am already doing the what is he doing questions, I wonder what you will be doing what you will be seeing, who you will be working with. Are you sleeping okay. Do you have Diet Pepsi? I want to promise you that we are okay, we are strong and we are keeping busy. We can not wait to hear from you but understand you may or may not have access to internet or a phone soon.
I love you,
Pamela D. Petrie

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Letters and dreams

I have that old feeling today. My boys are off camping with the youth group today and the girls are playing and I just have this lonely or sad kind of feeling. As I set here I am reminded of what deployment feels like. I had a dream last night. I dreamed I visited Rob in Iraq. It was so weird, he said he slept in bunkers with 2 men to a bunker. They looked like our dog house only bright yellow. They had no doors and inside there was no light just 2 beds. I asked where I would sleep and he said in a basement he thought but that there was a football team visiting so he did not know where I would go. He took me to the PX which was weird. You walk into a building and there is a long hallway with doors and each door was a different kind of store. I realized while we were talking that I had forgot to make sure Michael was taken care of and I had no way of contacting him to tell him. I remember thinking Michael has never been left alone over night and I did not make enough bread to last while I was gone. I remember looking around and seeing the bob wire and the humvee’s. I remember thinking Man, this I really what it is like. I remember that there was another lady there which I thought was weird. I know her from church and her husband is not in the military. When I woke up I told Rob about it because I never remember my dreams. But I cannot get this one out of my head today. Rob leaves this week, I will not say what day because that would not be safe but please continue to pray as he heads out. If you want his address please e-mail me.