I love you and miss you. More today than most days. It has officially been a month. A month since you handed me your keys, since your lips touched mine, since I went to bed alone. It has been a month of mornings where I peek out the window before turning on lights to make sure THE car is not in our drive way with the news every military spouse is scared of. It has been a month since I tucked myself into bed, since Grace hugged her daddy. Last night she told me “mommy when I close my eyes I can not see daddy’s eyes anymore”. She could not get in bed fast enough before I lost it.
Honey I love you and respect you for what you are doing. Rather you are knocking on doors or setting at a desk you are keeping us safe and for that I can handle a few more lonely nights. But tonight I am not feeling very understanding of you being gone.
Okay moving on because I remember the motto “suck it up and drive on”. I think it is does not help that I am listening to country music. Brookes and Dunn are splitting up or something so they are on TV.
We had a good day. Michael woke me up before 6am. He asked what he could do and I said to go mow the grass. A few minutes later I realized he was mowing the grass and it was not even 6:30AM. So I went out to tell him he should not be mowing the grass when I noticed it was raining. I said Michael you cannot mow the grass in the rain and he said it felt good. By the time we got home it was too wet to mow the grass. Church went well; we are getting the hang of cleaning up afterwards. I think now that we know what we need to do we are working better together.
We came home and relaxed. Well I relaxed while the kids cleaned up their rooms and then I worked on making camera strap covers. Before I knew it, it was after 8pm. It is already 10 and the girls are just falling asleep. Faith told the girls some story about a mean butterfly so no one could sleep.
I love you babe and cannot wait to have you home again and not just because I do not have a clue how to work my Iphone or because the riding lawnmower is not working.
Love you babe,